YOU DESERVE TO FEEL GOOD!
by Susan Leahy
Here is a fun FEEL GOOD video quick tip about how to fight in a relationship!
Confidence feels good! Knowing how to fight so you get what you want (not be right) is a learned skill! #StrongerWomenBetterWorld
YOU DESERVE TO FEEL GOOD!
STOP arguing at the level of CONTENT!
Start arguing for the CONTEXT of your relationship.
Ask yourself: What do I want to think or feel?
Once you get allignment in the CONTEXT (ENERGY), it is much easier to get agreement around CONTENT.
People who want to be in love and feel happy set themselves and others up for failure because they have never learned how to argue towards CONTEXT. They end up shredding their relationship apart because they are trying to be right about CONTENT.
This means that all too often our family lives become a hotbed for power struggles. Power struggles evolve from a strong focus on CONTENT, not CONTEXT.
CONTENT is the who, what, where, when or how of a fight or discussion. Think of it as taking on the role of reporting every single detail that happened and how it effected those involved. The problem with this is that each person involved in the fight or discussion has a different perspective on what actually happened. By focusing on who said and did what, the fight continues and all parties remain stuck in the ring. By arguing about CONTENT, you will not resolve the issue.
With my coaching clients I encourage them to argue for and towards CONTEXT. The key to stepping out of the CONTENT and diving into the CONTEXT is to ask yourself the following 2 questions:
What do I want to think?
What do I want to feel?
These questions allow you to get into alignment with the fact that “Your deserve to feel good.” And it’s not just about you! It’s about the other person/people too. It’s about setting yourself and others up for success.
My children, husband and I use a canned response when we are faced with these types of power struggles and the tension caused by arguing for CONTENT. We say:
“You deserve to feel good and I deserve to feel and this doesn’t feel good, so what can we do to feel good?”
When we argue toward feeling good together, when we are argue toward being a loving, nurturing family, then guess what? We end up feeling good.
Next time you find yourself embroiled in an argument about CONTENT, pause and take a deep breath. If you can’t think of anything else to say, use the above canned response.
Remember - If you are in a relationship that needs support in understanding how to argue toward CONTEXT, reach out to me.
This is a key component that I teach to those individuals and couples that I coach.
#GrouptoTEAM #ConfidentWomanProgram #StrongerWomenBetterWorld#SusanLeahyCoach #LifeIsGood